A Day of New and Old Blessings

Our students have spent the last 6 years in 5 buildings, one of those condemned. They have endured "rat day," toilets overflowing into downstairs classrooms, and lockdowns aplenty. I don't mean to make our school sound "less than." If you know me, you know I love my students and school more than nutella or pesto. (Again, if you know me, you know this is a BIG love.) Today, everything and nothing changed.

As they walked into our new building, they couldn't keep their eyes in one place. The stage. The brightly colored walls. The chic furniture. The new desks. The mezzanine. The flat screen TV's in every classroom. The turf outside. The patio. The classrooms. The bathrooms. The water bottle fountains. The internet cafe areas. And it was all for them. All for the purpose of growing them, challenging them and supporting them to become whatever they want, whatever they were made for.

Whatever they are made for. Many of them have no idea that they have a purpose here, a specific fitting for making this world a better place. And I get to tell them. I get to show them what they are great at. I get to help them become more confident in the areas that they have been told they were "bad" at. I get to remind them when they forget their goals and hopes. I get to praise their writing, their creativity, their pragmatism, their linear thinking, their non-linear thinking, their curiosity. I have been given the singular, incredible privilege of showing these students who they have been made to be, how valuable they are, how much they are capable of. I get to love them. This is my 3rd year and I still can't believe I have my dream job. I get to help them find theirs.

It's been a while. It took me years to finally start a blog and I never felt very comfortable writing my thoughts for all to read. When I started my teaching credential, my writing became a distance box on my checklist. So distant, in fact, I forgot about it until a friend started a blog to track her online dating escapades. So here I am. I hope to document this experience. Because I am realizing this is a miracle. This isn't a dream. It's a miraculous gift.

steam rising

I ran 2.5 miles tonight. If you know me, you know that 2.5 miles, without walking, is a feat. I have been running for 2 weeks now, gradually increasing from a mile, from 10 minutes of running to 30. Sunday nights are the hard ones, the longest runs. When I stepped up on the treadmill, all I could think about was how much I didn't want to do it. I was fighting myself the entire way.

After mile one was when it got really hard. Not the physical as much as the mental. Running is pretty simple; one foot in front of the other, no real skill required. Its the brain that does all the work. At least for me. It seemed Rihanna was not enough to keep me motivated today. As the battle in my mind egged me to quit, if only for a few seconds, I began to imagine the fortress Herod built in Israel; Masada. It was the Jewish people's last stand against the Roman empire. The giant fortress rests atop an enormous mountain. The mountain was surrounded for 3 years by Roman troops. On the southern end, there is a steep ramp where the Roman soldiers built a tower that was cranked up the hill, until the Roman soldiers fought face to face with the Jewish soldiers, defending their families and life as they knew it. And as I ran, there I was. On the cliff, facing the invader. I know it sounds dramatic. But it took every ounce of... something, to keep me going, to fight the urge to quit and walk. Something.

I finished. I went outside and laid down on the cold cement, face-up, looking at the stars. It was so dark and the sky was so clear. For a moment it seemed I was swimming in the stars. Until I noticed the steam rising from my face. Words came to mind from one of my favorite songs, "My love is over, its underneath, its inside, its in between" That was the something. Not my own gusto. Not my own strength. Not even perseverance had taught me how to withstand that doubting. His love has met me in places I wasn't looking for it. It met me when my friends disowned me Sophomore year because I wasn't as cool as their new friends. It met me when I failed my first college class. It met me when my dad left this world, left me half-orphaned. It met me when I found myself aching for home, 7,000 miles away. And it met me on a treadmill.

It met me on a treadmill.

Who is this God that refuses to be ignored? That must be recognized in EVERY area of my life? Who is this Savior whose forgiveness is unequivocally endless? Who is this Spirit that calls to me from the stars? I love when He is in the small things because it reminds me of how great His love really is.

Travel Blog

I am going to be writing about my travels on a different blog. In case you want to follow along, here is the site.

http://callantravels.blogspot.com

Identity

I am not good at a lot of things. Like basketball. And giving compliments. And hiding when I am frustrated. And then I am good at other things, like fender benders, making people feel small. Eating too much sugar. And that's my problem. My identity is all wrapped up in things that make me less than. What is that all about? I never thought I was like that. Until a project we were given at OSS last week. We were supposed to cut out images from magazines to make a collage of 3 things that represented our identity in God's eyes. Mine were the phrase, "Who is in the drivers seat?" meant to recognize the struggle I always have with being in control. The second was an amtrak train in motion meant to represent my ridiculous pace in life. And the third a bunch of watches. This one was about my obsession with time, efficiency and frustration with others' lack of these things. I didn't realize how negatively I assumed God viewed me until that moment, looking down at my sad, sad piece of paper. I mean, what kind of God/Father is it that I serve? The greatest earthly father in the world doesn't go around describing his children by their flaws. "Oh, my daughter Molly really has a temper. And Jack is the one with the pride issue." Why would my Father do that? And even as I type this... I think, "Yeah, but what else would He say?" I hate compliments. Always have. But why? I don't believe them maybe. I often think people are trying to manipulate me by getting on my "good side." It's been different these last few years. I guess since I moved to Santa Cruz. I am trusting people more, their motives. But the thing is, compliments, even when people mean it, haven't changed my view of what God thinks of me. And that makes since. No one knows me like Him. And He doesn't give compliments. Not in words at least. So here I am, wondering... What is it that You think of me? How would You describe me? Father, show me who I am through Your eyes.

Making a Wish... for Hope

I wish, I wish upon a star.... It's interesting the difference between wishing and hoping. We seem to hope for what is possible, or for what is likely to happen. We wish for things beyond our reach. And yet the Hope we have in Christ is even bigger than what we could ever think to wish for. He brought us life, He made us His children, He provides everything we need and heals the places in which we are broken. I am finding myself blown away at the lengths God will go in our lives. To be intentional. To bring joy, peace, hope. I don't need a dandelion to blow on to dream big. I have a Father who cares for me, for my desires, for my good. Who is willing to listen and guide. And sometimes He gives me what I desire. But most of the time He gives me more than I could imagine.

Freedom

This is Budward Jr. He was my pet parakeet for 3 and a half splendid weeks. He flew away. I am going to get Budward the third in September. For those of you living in the dorms this summer: You are welcome:)

Making Changes

I think the thing that makes me most excited when I imagine being old is, well, less change. Besides your body losing to gravity, life as an old person seems void of change. The old people I meet know what they think about life. And they will tell you. Because who cares what you think of them. They don't have these major life decisions to make. They don't have futures to plan. I don't mean that in a morbid way. It seems sweet. Heaven is just around the corner and life here has been lived. No change.

And to be honest... the only time I EVER agree with the previous paragraph is when change is staring me in the face and I want to run. Run from the pressure. Run from the doubt. The doubt in myself. The doubt that God won't show up. Because the truth is, when I don't feel overwhelmed by some daunting decision, I love change. I love that my future is still out there... waiting to be lived. I love that I will not be the same person in 10 years. Hopefully I will be different tomorrow. I love that what happens today will CHANGE what happens tomorrow and the next day and months from now. I love being able to grow. I love that God designed us to be spurred on in truth. And more than the change I love... I love that He does not.

But in crisis... or in my over-dramatic response to change... I find myself wishing I could sit in a rocking chair on the porch of my house, old and wise, looking back on this time. Laughing at my insecurities as a 20-something girl. Change is so hard. Duh, Callan. But it's only hard because I want it to be meaningful, to have impact.

I know you can relate. Because you are changing. You have a decision to make about something. You have big plans in the near future. You are changing jobs. You are meeting new people. You are praying for growth in an area of weakness. I know I will never be alone in my fear of the unknown. Because I have you. Because we are all nervous. And we have a God who is not. We have a God who lets us wig out, only to comfort us and bring us peace as we move towards Him. I don't mean to put a pretty bow on the issue, as if to say its going to be ok. Because taking a risk means it might not be. It might not be ok, but it will be good. He has a way of doing that...

Thoughts on a drive thru Santa Cruz

Spent some time in great conversation today. My friend Carissa and I talked about a lot of stuff as girls can do... but something stood out. What is my goal? My purpose? To learn how to be a good wife? To be a better principal? A better friend? To help others glorify God? To stand up for what I believe in? To learn more understanding in what others believe in?

All good things. All things I aspire to do. But I think I am supposed to be me and love Him as much as possible. HE makes all things new. HE will finish the work he began in me. I may never get married. I'm not going to be a principal forever. I know for a fact friends come and go, more than I'd like. But I will always be His daughter. And I can do that. He gives me everything I need to do that, to be that.

"Fear always springs from ignorance." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

If that is true... kids have it rough. They are experiencing EVERYTHING for the first time! Tonight I was reminded of that.

I had a kid in the health center at 10pm with a fever, waiting for his dad to pick him up. His name was Pete, let's say. Anyway, Pete is described by his teachers as a "deep thinker." He once asked in class, "Is it better to believe in many God's or not to believe in God at all." Wow. Sweet kid, and as he lay huddled under his blankets, trembling, he said to me,

"Excuse me. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." I said. His chin was quivering.

"What if my fever gets higher? I mean what if it keeps going up?"

"Don't worry buddy. Your body knows what to do. Just take some deep breaths." I didn't realize how scared he was, until this next question.

With huge, alligator tears rolling down his cheeks, Pete asked, "What if its too late for me?"

My heart broke. I know its a bit dramatic, but he wasn't trying to be. He was completely genuine. See, he has never had a fever before and it was all new to him: the body shaking, feeling warmer and warmer. It's miserable and if you've never felt it before... wow, I'd be scared too. How often do kids go through things for the first time? Constantly. And how aware of that are we. They're like aliens on a foreign planet.

Fear can be paralyzing. Especially when it can be justified. So the greatest gift we can give the kids around us is teaching them to face their fears. And remembering to keep facing our own fears too.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. - William Blake

It's been awhile. I can't get the hang of this whole blogging thing. Don't ever feel like I have much to say. But I guess it's worth a shot. My struggle these days is forgiveness. I can forgive when I can't relate. Like if it's something I have been through before. Or if the person who wronged me seems remorseful. It's a pretty selfish way of looking at it, I know. But its those times when forgiveness is totally one sided. I can't wait for an apology. I can't wait to understand all the ins and outs of motives and intentions. I have to forgive. For no other reason except that Jesus, my Lord and Savior, has asked me to. And has done far more for me through His forgiveness than I will ever be asked to do for someone else. It's lonely in this spot. It's sad. And I wonder how often I make Him feel like this... when I am not listening. When I decide I don't need Him... When I fight His will. When all He wants is the best for me and I turn my back on Him. George MacDonald said, "Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life."
But where I am, just short of that forgiveness, feels like the opposite. And so I wait for His hand of gentleness and deliberate leading. I need it. I can't do it alone.

Nothing Will Ever Work Unless You Do

That's a quote by Maya Angelou. I don't know why she is famous... except that Oprah really likes her. This quote draws me in, works me over and spits me out. For more than one reason, I hate this quote; for its complexity, its truth, its lies, the way it describes my life and rebukes my life in the same instance. I am a legalist. I am very often a pharisee. I am also a prodigal from time to time. When it comes to my walk with Christ, so often it becomes something I am ashamed of.

A Typical To Do List

1. Read the Bible
2. Pray
3. Fast
4. Evangelize
5. Work on not being legalistic.

How backwards is that? My pastor shared a great analogy on Sunday that shed so much light on the shame I have. I acquire my dream house. It is beautiful. There are rooms filled with comfy couches and chairs for my friends and family to fellowship. It has gardens and pools and views and I love it! But I need to build a driveway to connect the house to the road. It should really be a gorgeous driveway to match the house it leads to so I spend a lot of time on paving the road, planting flowers on either side, I even put a bridge in to go over the creek that flows in the front yard. I am finally done so I invite you over. As we reach the driveway I ask you to park. I just HAVE to show you the driveway I have spent so much time working on. I show you the stones I imported from Italy. You seem very impressed by the rose bushes. And by the time we get to the bridge (which I am sure you love!) we realize its been 2 hours and we have to get going. We never actually get to the house. The driveway is important. But only because it leads to the house.

God is the house. He is the place of fellowship, love and joy. The driveway is what gets us there each day; reading scripture, praying, fasting, etc. All of these things are so important. But only because they lead us to the Father. This has broken open a big part of my legalism but if I am completely honest, I have a LONG road ahead. But only because I know my flesh... It really is so easy. He is there. He is eager. He loves me right where I am. Just as if I never sinned. Just as if I always obeyed. Justified. Because of Your blood Jesus. Because of Your gift and sacrifice the Father looks down on me and can say "Well done good and faithful servant." Because You are the good and faithful servant, who stands in my place.

NEVERTHELESS

Here are a few thoughts from the sermon I heard this morning! I am so blessed by the church He has brought me to and am excited about what I am learning:

The Israelites got to see so much cool stuff! God sent them a cloud, manna, they walked through the sea, they woke up one day to a desert and the next to a lake. These people SAW the acts of God. "NEVERTHELESS, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness." 1 Cor. 10:5 Seeing those acts, experiencing God in such a seemingly practical way wasn't enough to sustain their faith. So why was Moses different? What made Aaron and Caleb's response different?

Psalms 103:7 After 6 verses about God's mighty acts and followed by 15 verses about the character of God is this eye-opening, heart-grabbing verse, "He made known His WAYS to Moses and his ACTS to the people of Israel."

I have seen AMAZING things God has done. He brought me out of a life of sin and darkness and offered me a new life, as His daughter, through His own death and resurrection. He has changed the hearts of so many of my friends. Brought them closer to their parents, closer to their enemies, closer to me even when I didn't deserve it. He has literally saved my life time and time again. Saved my family and friends from pain and anguish. I have seen amazing things, but none of it is enough to sustain my future faith. Knowing His ways will sustain me. Don't underestimate the power of our fleshly passions. Don't overestimate your ability to handle temptation. GOD provides a way out and it is almost always a person, someone who is holding you accountable to the commitments you've made to God. Paul had seen miracle after miracle and he was still afraid of failing to fulfill the Lord's purpose for his life. He had a healthy fear of being "disqualified." 1 Cor. 9:27 So should we. Its not that we are in danger of losing or salvaltion. But we are in danger of wasting this life.

I don't want to feel obligated to read my bible every morning. I don't want to add it to a list of things to do so that I can feel good about myself when I check it off. I know that knowing the ways of my Father, who adores me, will guard me from a purposeless life of disappointment. Because knowing Him is the best thing this life has to offer.

I hope this isn't a downer to read. Because it has had the opposite affect on me. Being reminded that I will always forget. But that he will always remind me. What a comfort. What a joy. Thanking God for what I have keeps me from looking for I don't. He knows what I need. And His blessings are GREAT!!!!!

Another gift of grace...

For those of you who have been in my life the last few years, you know that I have been overwhelmed by my understanding of grace. God has gradually allowed me to know and feel and give and enjoy His grace on a deeper and deeper level through change and incredible teachers and good friends. I spent so much of my walk with Him feeling "tolerated" and it is a pretty recent thing for me to be able to recognize myself as His daughter. It has been such a fruitful time but if I can be honest... the last few months I have struggled with this grace. I have wondered if I have pitched my tent in a soft view of the gospel, ignoring some hard truths because they aren't as comforting as grace. I see others working so hard to be righteous, working so hard to be the most knowledgeable and I have been running for the hills to stay away from the legalism I once lived in.

Today, God showed up in a HUGE way! I tried a new church called Venture. It is a 40 minute commute and as I drove over the hill I prayed out loud. I shared with God what I thought I might be looking for in a church but admitted I really had no idea. I shared with Him areas I see in my life that are stagnant. I shared with Him some distractions that I see forming in my life, some footholds perhaps. And by the time I arrived at the church parking lot I still had no idea what I was looking for or how I was going to know if it was right for me.

I was 13 minutes early. I sat alone in the back left. I watched all colors of people come in and begin laughing with the people next to them. I saw at least 8 culturally mixed couples. I saw 2 men in wheelchairs handing out bulletins. I saw the drummer was a woman!!!! Sweet! So far, so good. The worship leader was an attractive man with absolutely no stage presence which left me focusing on the words of each song as well as my response. It was fabulous!

The teaching pastor began by listing all of the things I had listed as desires I had in a church: fellowship, growth, truth, joy and anticipation. He went on to say he was describing a church he had pastored once where while all these things were present, individual growth wasn't. People were struggling year after year with the same issues. And there I sat, astounded at God's intensively intimate hand in my heart at that very moment. "Ok, Dad, I am listening."

He spoke of nodding our heads with the Pastor on Sunday Morning, encouraged by Truth and the Gospel. And then Monday hits, and our priorities swing right back into what they were. This is because we are deceived. This is because we are afraid. This is because we have failed so many times before. It's easier to give in. And the piece that is missing, the ingredient that can free us from allowing our bodies to control us is Discipline.

Sarah Welles has always been so good at affirming this in my life. She can list times when I have said I am going to do something... and in her memory I always follow through. And for that season I have encouraged her. I am so grateful for that but am continually discouraged by the fact that it NEVER LASTS!!!! But there is a piece of this grand puzzle that I have never been able to find. A piece that connects our seemingly hopeless attempts of righteousness to our ever-growing need for grace. A piece that connects my fear of having a mushy, weak view of salvation with the truth that this life is a calling like no other. And here it is.....

Discipline is a by-product of grace. That same grace that keeps me by my Fathers side. That same grace that picks me up off the floor. That same grace that allows me to come running back into His arms when I fall. From that grace flows the gift of self-control.

"For the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and wordly passions and to live self-contolled upright and godly lives in the present age." Titus 2:11-12

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." Hebrews 12:11

Discipline is a gift. One that doesn't have expectations or requirements. One that doesn't cost anything God doesn't already supply. I find myself nodding. I find myself agreeing with all my heart and praying desperately that Monday never hits. But it will. In 3 short hours actually so I am going to continue to pray. I am going to be memorizing these verses as well as 1 Cor. 9:24-27, 2 Peter 1:6 and Gal. 5:22-23. I am going to be making a few changes this week. And a few more next week. And so on and so forth. Not to be a better person but to enjoy this gift that my Father offers lovingly and without limits. You only get one shot at this life...

Super Amazing Moment Today!!!!!

Took Carissa to grab a coffee. She made fun of me for saying "a coffee" rather than just "coffee." Huh. Anyway, we both ordered iced coffee. I got a mocha and she got a hazelnut latte. Notice you can't say, "I got iced mocha," or "I got hazelnut coffee." That sounds caveman. So take that Carissa. Anyway, it was one of those days where the weather makes you doubt your choices. Too warm for a hot beverage. Just make you sweat more. And the iced beverages will melt in this weather. Fear not! Because at Mountain Brewery in Felton California they serve iced beverages with COFFEE ICE! That's right! So even if it melts, it doesn't become some watered down mess! I am so excited about this new find!!!!!

Long Time No See!!!!

So it's been awhile, I know. I know Emelia ok?!!! Geez! Anyway, I am back into the swing of OSS only this time around, we all know each other pretty well. So the "Welcome to OSS BBQ 09" wasn't as awkward as 08. But in some ways, not as memorable either. Don't get me wrong. I love this year. I love that we have an understanding of one another that goes a year deep. And really since we are on camp time, maybe more like 5 years deep. But there weren't any funny awkward moments that will continue on into the ages. Like last year, meeting Aimee for the first time, calling her Amy and learning that she drinks Patron straight, over ice. Or hearing Emelia's bee down the shirt story. Or sharing a bathroom with Cindy and finding ourselves needing to go to the bathroom at the same time EVERY morning. Or pretending like I wasn't sort of freaked out by Drew's "accent." All quality "getting to know you" moments that I value and savor in the retelling. But we have made a few new stories already. "Fun Table", pushing Carissa up Randy's (well not quite), coffe time with Char... all in all I have high hopes for this year. I know it will be different but I think that's actually what I am looking forward to.

Renewable Resources...?

So on my my way back from Sonora to the beautiful Santa Cruz this weekend I drove by foothills filled with windmills. Do you know what I am talking about? It's like an alien planet, hills of white statues spinning in sync as the wind blows. Anyways, it got me thinking. There is so much potential, unused energy just sitting around. We could be using the wind, the flow of water down rivers, the sun... And that's when it hit me. Fat! We are the most obese country in the world. We should come together and make good on that blubber. Here's how it would work. Much like wind mills make energy from the kinetic energy of wind, we could turn gyms into power centers. As we run and break down the extra pounds, the treadmills could be harnessing that kinetic energy and our PG&E bills would shrink, hopefully along with our waists! I am a genius, I know.

Campfire

Every Tuesday night, we Naturalists come together to perform. There is no room for pride or shame. We must dance and sing and make fools of ourselves to the best of our ability whether or not we have a voice the next day. Ben and Drew seem to pass the gas back and forth each week. This week was Drew's turn and he even took the time to try and teach me how to harness the strength within and pass the gas right back! Don't worry... I declined! Girls don't fart anyway... Emelia at some point will find herself laughing hysterically. This week, her "seal cries" emerged at the sight of John trying desperately to pull the tightly fitting wet suit off of Drew's body. It got stuck at his kankles! But that laugh can get anyone going! And we all end up in hysterics. Never thought I'd meet anyone who could out laugh me!!! And what a pleasure it is! Cian is a new addition but what a great fit! He is awkward beyond words, forgetting all of his lines, kneeling at imaginary udders, dressing up like a total nerd, side-part and all! Fantastic! Cindy and I will always find a way to fake fight or push and shove before the night is over. I think she is jealous of my mad skills and tries to hold all the frustration in until she just can't handle it anymore! If you know Cindy you can imagine how gentle I have to be not to break her. The fight is always unfair... All I really have to do is yell at the top of my lungs, "NO NO NO NO NO!" and she folds! HAHAHAHAHA! Tina is a ridiculously amazing cheerleader who won't have a voice tomorrow! Ben's cow jokes are always a treat! Except when our audience is full of muslim kids and we realize he is actually making fun of their god... more awkward. Sarah as a mickey wizard is always funny. Jessica is the most impressive because she used to hide in the bushes when we first started, out of fear of performing such rediculous skits. And now she rocks our faces off! Or as Drew would say, "She makes our hearts sour like eagles." Tonight we missed Beth and Char. But on a regular basis Char's hair pokes me in the eye or Beth attacks me with a smore, so they are always a blast too! I just wanted as many people as possible to experience in some way the awesomeness that is Outdoor Science School Campfire... So there. Take that. We are BOSS.

The life of a Parrot.

You can tell me what to say.
I will repeat it.
You can teach me to compliment you.
I will do it.
You can teach me to laugh at your jokes.
I will chuckle.
You can teach me to follow you.
It may not be graceful, but I will hop along.
You can teach me to cry.
I will make the noise.
But I won't mean it.
I don't think you are pretty, I don't know how to.
I don't think you are funny, I can't understand you.
I don't know where you are going, I can't see that far.
I am not sad, I've never had happiness to compare it to.

I am a Parrot. I can obey but I can't enjoy you. Not really.

I don't want to be a Parrot.

Facebook Farewell... for now!

I have decided to take a break from Facebook. I am one of those people who checks my page every chance I get, maybe 5 or 6 times a day! I'm obsessed. And I hate it. I am sure I could find better things to do than stalk people. I could finish reading one of the books I have sitting on my desk. I could CALL someone or better yet hang out with someone. It is nice to see where people are and how they are doing but I feel like I need to get this obsession under control before I can use this communication tool wisely. But I will be back! And hopefully, will have a ton of pictures from my summer adventures to add! I will try to keep up on my blogging as to keep my "many" followers happy=) Love you 4 peeps! Talk to you soon!!!

Sunrise Service

Mount Hermon has a sunrise sermon each Easter where we all trek up the hill to the top where there is a 15 foot cross and a beautiful view of the Santa Cruz Mountains. I usually find myself distracted by a lot of "man-madeness" up there. Whether its the city of Scotts Valley down the hill, the rock quarry, the fence, the water tower, the AT&T tower... whatever it is I usually see it as in the way of seeing God. Danny Wallen shared a perfect lesson for such a person like me. The water tower reminds us of His provision for us. The fence reminds us of the prison we are now free of because of His sacrifice. The AT&T tower reminds us of the open connection we now have with God. As Kit was leading us in worship, we all sang as the sun peaked over the clouds, conspicuous at first, and then beaming over the mountains and valley, the buildings and people. I found myself seeing the city so much differently. His people were down there, His creation. And here He was proclaiming Himself through this magnificent sunrise, proclaiming His might, His beauty, His provisions, His power... and these people below don't see the miracle. They want to stay warm in their beds. They want another hour of sleep. They want a longer break from this fallen world. The sun is their enemy as long as they dread that day that has now arrived. And they don't see Him. As I sat on that hill I was so humbled. The LORD woke me this morning just in time to get up there. The LORD enabled me to climb that hill just in time to be with the body. The LORD provided this hope that each new day brings. I am so blessed to know this Lord and to be supernaturally lead by Him. And as I looked down on that once distracting pile of cement and street lamps and roads, my heart broke. It broke, I think, because His heart breaks as He reveals himself in these wonderous ways, and His people don't even notice. They need Him. I need Him. And He is willing and patient. What an amazing Easter morning. He is Risen. He is Risen indeed!!!!!