It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. - William Blake

It's been awhile. I can't get the hang of this whole blogging thing. Don't ever feel like I have much to say. But I guess it's worth a shot. My struggle these days is forgiveness. I can forgive when I can't relate. Like if it's something I have been through before. Or if the person who wronged me seems remorseful. It's a pretty selfish way of looking at it, I know. But its those times when forgiveness is totally one sided. I can't wait for an apology. I can't wait to understand all the ins and outs of motives and intentions. I have to forgive. For no other reason except that Jesus, my Lord and Savior, has asked me to. And has done far more for me through His forgiveness than I will ever be asked to do for someone else. It's lonely in this spot. It's sad. And I wonder how often I make Him feel like this... when I am not listening. When I decide I don't need Him... When I fight His will. When all He wants is the best for me and I turn my back on Him. George MacDonald said, "Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life."
But where I am, just short of that forgiveness, feels like the opposite. And so I wait for His hand of gentleness and deliberate leading. I need it. I can't do it alone.