Sorry, its a sad one. But honest.

Today was one of those days. You never really see them coming. You know there is stuff in your life that isn't quite right. Relationships that need mending. Decisions that need making. Prayers that need praying. Problems that need solving. You know. They are no secret to you. But you don't expect it all to come crashing down on you in one day. And its not a crash actually. That might make it easier. Because then there would be onlookers, good samaritans ready to jump in and help clean up the mess. No this day starts like any other. And the destruction is from within. No car. No windshield. No air bags. Just thoughts. Thoughts that slow you down. There are bandages that are slowly being pulled away revealing open wounds vulnerable for the re-wounding. And anything can do it. A remark that any other day wouldn't have been noticed. A disapproving glance that sends your mind into a whirlwind of doubt and insecurity. And even neglect. Even the lack of words or lack of glances. Even that makes it worse. Because today, everything reminds you that you are alone. Everything reminds you that no one really knows you. That when it comes down to it, there is no one on this planet who loves you the way you want to be loved. And it takes all day to remember Him. All day to remember that you are right. That there is no one on this earth that loves you because He has a kingdom of His own, far above this place. It takes all day to remember you are NEVER alone. To remember He is speaking to you, He is looking over you. He is affirming your heart and walk. He is proclaiming His redemption and grace through you. It takes all day to remember that under those bandages that you placed on your heart over and over, under those bandages there are no wounds, just scars, painful memories but healed and safe. Healed by Him, by His presence, by His peace, by His comfort. By His redemption. It takes you until the moments before you fall asleep to be reminded that this is the day that the Lord has made. And as you dose off you realize once again the Lord is reigning victorious over the great deceiver. And this day becomes something different. Oswald Chambers said,

“When a man gets to despair he knows that all his thinking will never get him out. He will only get out by the sheer creative effort of God. Consequently he is in the right attitude to receive from God that which he cannot gain for himself.”